62394

Joke of the Day

"the chipotle guy who never charges me extra for guacamole even though there's a big G on the foil. what are we?"

"What would you guys like to ask an American? Nevermind they'll just tell you anyway"

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it"

"What did the drunken Irishman say to the Chinese diplomat? http://www.reddit.com/r/Youwritethepunchline/comments/2zg1zy/what_did_the_drunken_irishman_say_to_the_chinese/"

"Clinton to Trump: Release your tax returns! I have never seen them. Trump: ...but I emailed them to you. Of course you've never seen them."

"A racist, a fascist, and an idiot walked into a bar ""What can I get you?"" Asked the bartender. ""I'll just have a water, and make sure the glass is small enough for my hands"" said Donald Trump."

"I found my first white hair on my head ... I'm gonna name him Gentrification. I'm so sorry."

"Why does Hellen Keller use two hands for masturbation? One to masturbate, one to moan."

"In capitalist America, you grab people by the pussy. In Soviet Russia, you seize the means of reproduction."

"I climaxed on a blind girl's boobs yesterday She didn't see it coming"