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Joke of the Day

"You know how bullies stick a kid's head in the toilet & flush? We need to give Bieber credit for turning that into a look."

"RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust"

"Oh, you're a ceiling fan? Name three ceilings."

"2 Rules to Be Successful 1) Don't tell everyone everything you know. 2)"

"Rick Astley is willing to let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, with one exception. He's never gonna give you Up."

"if a single teacher cant teach us all subjects,how is a student supposed to learn all the fucking subjects?"

"tifu by getting inside someone else's underwater vessel Whoops, wrong sub"

"Q. What do tired line dancers do? A. They Line Down :-)"

"What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most ? French press"

"Yes. You rt'd me 14 times in a row. Thanks. You are first in line for my liver when the time comes."