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Joke of the Day

"What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most ? French press"

"What do you call a fat man trying out a new tempurpedic mattress? The great depression"

"Did you hear Cyan delayed the release of Obduction again? Apparently they myst some deadlines."

"What do you call a limp snake? An ereptile dysfunction."

"Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in."

"iPhone's from the future. 2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack 2017: iPhone 8=no battery 2018: iPhone 9=no screen 2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000"

"What does an accountant call a friend's birthday party? (x-post from /r/tax) A present liability!"

"Lawyer: why do you want a divorce? Wife: because he use idioms incorrectly. Me: it's not my cup of shoes, Linda!"

"Did you hear about that celebrity who committed suicide? Reese whatsername? ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife!"" Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)"

"You can't run through a campground. You can only ran, because it's past tents."