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Joke of the Day
"2 Rules to Be Successful 1) Don't tell everyone everything you know. 2)"
Next Joke
"People that whip their seats back on airplanes are almost certainly terrible lovers."
"2night's funniest bit: a fellow comic enters the room &, given a choice between talking w/ me & w/ a homeless man, chooses the homeless man."
"Why do they say ""break a leg !"" to actors ? If you said ""tear an ACL !"" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot."
"Jamie asked Tyrion [GOT SPOILERS] Why did you kill our dad?   Tyrion: \_()_/ , everything happens for a treason."
"What do you call a diseased duck? A Mallardy."
"2 men are in the bathroom. One is seen running in, the other leaving. What are their nationalities? Russian and Finnish!"
"I want to make a film about a group of friends dealing with their classmate becoming a pop star. Britney's Peers"
"TIFU: I posted my FU in /r/jokes"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? It saw a cock!"