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Joke of the Day

"Write a suicide note on Facebook and they try to talk you out of it. Write a suicide note on Twitter and they correct your grammar."

"A businessman comes into work distraught, wearing a bloody suit.NSFW A coworker asks him, ""What happened to your tie?"" He responds, ""I had to kill that whore because she had a freaking dick."""

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them"

"My boyfriend got pissed because I didn't swallow. Is it my fault I have a nut allergy?"

"A great joke What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child."

"Where do bees go to the bathroom at? at the [BP Station](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Bp_station_zanesville_ohio.jpg) *Sorry, I know...its a Dad joke.*"

"TIL that during WWII 3 U.S. submarines sank due to friendly fire. Whoops, wrong sub."

"My penis is only 4 inches... ...but I find most girls don't like it that wide."

"Life is like a box of chocolates It's full of nuts, expensive, and severely disappointing."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? It's easy to roast beef..."