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Joke of the Day

"I was thinking about getting a tattoo... [one liner] I was going to get a tattoo of a cross on my testicles, but I thought it would be too sacrilegious."

"I just left my job, see why ? She : I just left my job. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me. Me : What did he say ? She : You're fired."

"At my house, it is customary for you to go back to yours as soon as possible."

"In my doctor's waiting room, I explained to a WWII veteran what a Twitter follower count is. I think he regrets winning the war now."

"PARTYING = a simple word describing the physical expression of a state mind in which you're deeply aware of how incredible it is to exist."

"When beer and cheese isn't the answer... Change the question"

"Why are jews always washing their hands? They're Germaphobes."

"cop joke He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"What would have happened if Alexander Fleming met Euler? They would have discovered Penicil(e^(x))"

"Why did Jack get a restraining order? Beanstalking."