79641

Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: How do you hit those high notes? Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me? Adam Levine: Practice."

"I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books."

"An orange juice factory decides to host a movie night.. They will be screening Pulp Fiction"

"Other people's umbrellas are more annoying than other people's kids because umbrellas never say anything darnedest at all."

"What's the best way to kill a bug? Just bug him to death."

"When a guy thinks that older women are more into him than they actually are... Is it an example of the Dunning-Cougar effect?"

"My boyfriend told me my stutter is cute I told him to f-f-f-fuck off"

"If everyone was like you the human race would lose faith in the world."

"Doctors Jokes "" Doctor I keep stealing things"" "" Take these tablets; if that doesn't work get me a flat screen TV."""

"Protip: If you're bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say ""isn't that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?"""