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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: How do you hit those high notes? Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me? Adam Levine: Practice."

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"Chics are like Voltron. The more you hook up with, the better it gets."
"Girls that are 16 and pregnant may look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34."
"Pi-ku Math is fun When Mixed with some pie"
"Apparently ""you have great tweets"" sounds a lot like ""you have great tits"" in a crowded bar."
"Want to solve the energy crisis? Develop a car that runs on self-delusion. Me and my fellow Americans have an unlimited supply."
"How do you plug a plow into a car stereo? Through the ox input."
"One day, when you least expect it, every single one of your problems will finally be gone. Oddly enough, so will you."
"""You'll be visited by 3 ghosts."" ""Will they show me the true spirit of Christmas?"" ""No, they'll try to eat you."" Pac-Man Christmas Carol"
"QUESTIONS YOU CAN ANSWER BY PEEING ON THINGS: 1. Am I pregnant? 2. Does my boss have a very forgiving nature?"