55940

Joke of the Day

"Want to solve the energy crisis? Develop a car that runs on self-delusion. Me and my fellow Americans have an unlimited supply."

"Be that Shopping Cart with the bad wheel. Go in your own direction no matter how hard someone try's to push you in theirs."

"Where do hamburgers go to dance? To a meatball."

"I have Tindr hair.... It's messy, dry, and I swipe it to the right hoping for good looking results."

"What's the hardest part about skydiving? The ground."

"a man walks into a library drunk and says can i have a fish and chips please the woman says sir this is a library and then whispers can i have a fish and chips please"

"Tired of my wife saying I have no feelings. Do I not cry if you turn off Football? Do I not pout when I can't find good porn? I have layers."

"I laughed too hard at this. What has a bottom at the top? A leg"

"Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner? He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving."

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a straight girl? Four drinks."