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Joke of the Day

"QUESTIONS YOU CAN ANSWER BY PEEING ON THINGS: 1. Am I pregnant? 2. Does my boss have a very forgiving nature?"

"So a Priest says to a Rabbi.... ""Hey, we should go fuck those kids..."" and the Rabbi says: ""Outta what?"""

"phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget"

"Does the Five Second Rule apply to gravy?"

"Autoerrection has saved my life"

"How does Davy Crockett take his pie? A'lamode"

"How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas? By spending a large fortune."

"Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ? It was a moth ball !"

"I once threw an abstinence party... And no one came. Edit: grammar."

"H: ""Whatcha doing?"" Me: ""Going on twitter to hang out."" H: ""Twitter is an app, not a place."" Me: *whispers venomously* ""Is too a place!!"""