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Joke of the Day

"""You'll be visited by 3 ghosts."" ""Will they show me the true spirit of Christmas?"" ""No, they'll try to eat you."" Pac-Man Christmas Carol"

"Do you like fishsticks? What are you a gay fish"

"""Ed's Plumbing"" Hi I think an engagement ring is stuck in my toilet ""ok when did your lady drop-"" She didn't ""Sir?"" I hid it in her dessert"

"If by 'the Hamptons' you mean 'my pajamas', then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons."

"i mute every grouptext cuz friendship is cool but also generally annoying"

"Drinking is a slow death ..It is okay. I am in no hurry."

"Did you hear they removed the essay portion from the SAT? Now it's just called the T"

"Which is the most powerful colour? Super Cyan"

"I always ware my Seahawks jersey on test day... Because i know ill pass even if i shouldn't"

"What do you call a friar in prison? A felonious monk"