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Joke of the Day

"If I ever get arrested, my one phone call will be to the police station to do a bomb scare. I'm not spending the night there."

"Apparently, changing your profile to ""Flirty, dirty and a little squirty"" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle."

"Why did Chewbacca fail his driving test? He made a few Wookiee errors."

"Why arent There Many jewish gardeners? Because money doesnt grow on trees"

"I like it when people complement me on my grammar"

"Me: He's starting to stir! Wife: Shhhh. Me: OH MY GOD... Wife: Be quiet. Me: HE'S GOT A KNIFE! Wife: I hate watching cooking shows with you."

"A pakistani food company is launching a new product... Its called, Allahu Snackbar"

"There is a time and a place for accosting people with baguettes (2 p.m., Whole Foods)."

"Hey Jerry Sandusky! What's the best thing about sex with twenty nine year olds? There's twenty of them!"

"Just wrote a book on reverse psychology... Don't read it!"