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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes in the 'special talents' section of a resume I like to draw a picture of a cat"
Next Joke
"What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home? IUD"
"I heard about a robot that beat a man. He was charged with battery."
"Why did the Hawaiian Hipster burn to death? He walked on lava before it was cool."
"I heard Lincoln is doing well in theaters Traditionally, this has not been true."
"A rabbi and a priest are walking down the street. They see a young boy bending over and the priest says ""let's screw him!"" And the rabbi says ""outta what?"""
"Three Signs You're Getting Older I was told that there were three signs that you are getting older. The first is senility And I forget the other two."
"There is a clerk at the butcher shop. He is 5'10"" and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weight? Meat."
"How can you tell if someone does crossfit? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
"""Matt, you just need to date the type of person that will always be there for you!"" [tries to date pizza] [gets friend calzoned]"