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Joke of the Day

"I almost got fired for watching internet porn at work. Instead I got fired for masturbating."

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. ""Did you enjoy yourself?"" asked her mother when she got home. ""Oh yes"" replied Fred. ""But it was funny going to a dead zoo."""

"Imagine being in space and floating past all the planets. You could probably go kart on Saturn's rings."

"Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky."

"Stop putting famous names at the end of random quotes. - bob marley"

"85% of the time I spend in a bathroom stall is spent waiting for the other person in the bathroom to leave."

"A student asks another student, ""How many zeroes does your salary have?"" He responds ""One"" ""In which currency?"" ""Any :("""

"I've been researching some useless facts... Want some examples? I have found out that there are over 10,000 different types of lice. And that's just off the top of my head."

"Never using online dating again. Last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison. He meant prison."