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Joke of the Day

"A student asks another student, ""How many zeroes does your salary have?"" He responds ""One"" ""In which currency?"" ""Any :("""

"What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them. (Works better in spoken format, I know)"

"When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?"

"Why didn't the Seahawks give the ball to Marshawn Lynch? They couldn't fined him."

"Where do Cows go for parties? The Moovies"

"What has 12 hands, 12 legs, and 12 eyes? 12 pirates."

"Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman."

"I measure my kids' ages in terms of percent complete out of eighteen years. My kids are 22% and 38%."

"What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino? A helephino. (Hellifiknow)"

"Wife: The police are here asking about a break in at the pet store Me from within a pile of puppies: Tell them I'm not here."