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Joke of the Day

"I'd like you to meet my family, my wife Sharon, my son Carl, and this balloon that follows me around"

"How do crazy people get through a forest? They take the psycho-path!"

"What do you call a smart gay chemist? A homogeneous"

"What is a Canadian vampire's favourite drink? Type Eh."

"Why does Hillary Clinton want to be president? She also wants to get a blow job in the oval office"

"Probably too soon... But it looks like Peaches Geldof doesn't like Mondays, either."

"You know I think Fight Club is pretty underrated. Nobody talks about it these days"

"What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ? A common tater !"

"I'm so poor that for Christmas my mom cut a hole in my pants so I would have something to play with."

"All the Kardashian girls sound like they've just been lobotomized and can only remember the words ""I just feel like..."""