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Joke of the Day

"[teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] ""Scorpio's drink water when they're thirsty"" OMG THIS IS SO ME"

"What do you call a gangster Hobbit? Yolo Swaggins"

"Definition of a Masochist... *Definition of a Masochist:* ***""Beat me! Beat me!""*** *Definition of a Sadist:* ***""No!""***"

"""Mos Def"" is my favorite rapper named after a girl who doesn't actually plan on hanging out with you."

"My girl told me to stop singing 'Wonderwall.' I said maybe"

"What's the best wood to make a golf club out of? Taiga Wood"

"Girls who marry for money & guys who marry for beauty are equally robbed in the end."

"Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !"

"Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class? He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution."

"Why do people say half a dozen? Why can't they just say Six"