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Joke of the Day

"""Mos Def"" is my favorite rapper named after a girl who doesn't actually plan on hanging out with you."

"Why does Santa have a big sack? He only comes once a year. Why does he only come once a year? He only goes to see children once a year."

"Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth? The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication"

"Not to brag but I can still fit in my culturally-defined gender roles from high school!"

"Why do people live soda? Because it's sodalicious."

"So Elon Musk, Chris Pratt, and Neil deGrasse Tysons walk into a bar.... There's no punchline just give me upvotes."

"Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they'd be bagels"

"Q. What's pink and fluffy? A. Pink fluff. Q. What's blue and fluffy? A. Pink fluff holding its breath Q. What's green and fluffy? A. Moss."

"Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning."

"There once was a girl named Sally with no arms.. ""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally"""