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Joke of the Day

"What's black and white and can't fit through a door? (x-post r/AntiJokes) A zebra with a spear through its head."

"why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis"

"When is a pentagon not a pentagon? When it's intercepted by a separate plane."

"I'll do anything to prove I'm not lazy. I'll go the whole three yards."

"[Dog Restaurant] ""Is the Book Report any good?"" Yes, Sir. ""How's it prepared?"" A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it. ""Ooh, I'll have that."""

"Don't you hate it when people attach little steering wheels to their penises? It drives me nuts."

"I wasn't mad. Then you asked me 12 times if I was mad. Well, now I'm mad."

"The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear."

"What's the best hour to book a dental appointment? Tooth hurty."

"I can tell by the way you keep snapping your gum in my ear that you really don't value your life at all."