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Joke of the Day

"[Dog Restaurant] ""Is the Book Report any good?"" Yes, Sir. ""How's it prepared?"" A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it. ""Ooh, I'll have that."""

"I'm about two tissues away from shoving a tampon up my nose."

"I don't believe women have souls. Neither do men. I don't believe in souls."

"What do you call a hapoy frog? Hoppy"

"I'm sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says ""oh great, dinner and a show."" Priceless."

"Why was the apricot late to the party? He got stuck in a jam."

"While some guys go to the gym to clean & snatch... Others go to to see lean snatch. C what I did there?"

"why do you never see hippos hiding in trees? cause they're really fuckin' good at it"

"Which dances do the burgers do best? The burger-loo and the char char!"

"I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there's no fucking money in there."