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Joke of the Day

"i can always see the flash of disappointment n a guy's face when i tell them i have a great relationship with my dad."

"Even if women came with a set of instructions, men would toss them aside without reading them."

"I used to drive a Ford Fiesta... Until I took some Adderal to study for my test. Now It's a ford focus"

"What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom? Nothing, the pee is silent"

"The Men's Room... where all the dicks hang out."

"I got a new job breaking up suicidal couples. I'm not very good at it, two of them already tied the knot."

"The AutoZone guy said my battery was out of juice but he didn't say which kind so I'm going with kiwi strawberry."

"How To Be Cool A) Use cool sunglasses emoji. B)"

"The hairdresser's oath First, harm no 'do..."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass..."