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Joke of the Day

"What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom? Nothing, the pee is silent"

"What did one penny say to the other penny? Come with me and we will make cents."

"MISSING HER SHE SAID SHE DON'T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, THEN I WON 300,00 DOLLARS AND NOW SHE WANTS ME......I GAVE HER A DOLLAR AND TOLD HER WENDY'S IS OPEN.....LOL"

"If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss"

"How do you kill a fox? Cut off one of it's legs and make it run across Canada"

"""I'm a very private person"" - people who are on back to back reality shows"

"What form of hand-to-hand combat did the Nazis use? Jew Jitsu"

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday? Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years."

"My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried... Apparently ""Balls deep in your sister"" was not the answer she was expecting."

"What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? Just be *honest* with it man..."