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Joke of the Day

"The AutoZone guy said my battery was out of juice but he didn't say which kind so I'm going with kiwi strawberry."

"What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a blender."

"to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other"

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9? Because... Windows 7 8 9."

"My six replaced the toilet paper roll all on her own and now I'm wondering who her real dad is."

"What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ? A croaker spaniel !"

"Have you found Jesus? No? Me neither. I think we lost him near the border. God, I hope he's ok. He had like all the cocaine with him."

"A programmers wife tells him to buy groceries She says buy bread, and if there are eggs get a dozen. He came home with twelve loaves of bread"

"When I was little, I didn't give a fuck about what to wear. My parents dressed me up. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it seems they didn't give a fuck either."

"You would be surprised at how many people will run if you yell ""ITS A TRAP"" and run in a random direction"