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Joke of the Day

"Ay' girl,is your dad a terrorist Cause you re da bomb"

"People with epilepsy see the opportunity And they seize in it."

"Laughing at your mistakes could lengthen your life. Laughing at your spouse's mistakes WILL shorten it..."

"Why didn't the string get anything for Christmas? Because he was knotty!"

"These new drone regulations... I had to register my two sticks of butter with the FAA. It was so much trouble just to see my butter fly."

"Drunk texts are only fun if you're the one sending them. With that said, I'm having a blast right now."

"Chinese people want to criticize Ronda so bad after that fight.....but they cant. They just end up saying her name, Ronda Rousey"

"*gets shot* ""Lassie im hurt, quick get pa"" *Lassie gives me her paw* ""lol i see what you did there girl"" *we both laugh as i bleed out*"

"A black man goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... The bartender looks at the parrot and says, ""Wow! That's a beauty. Where'd you get him?"" The parrot replies, ""Africa""."

"Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do It's just that most people don't have thyme."