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Joke of the Day

"These new drone regulations... I had to register my two sticks of butter with the FAA. It was so much trouble just to see my butter fly."

"Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, ""Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?"""

"Whats the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish."

"9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams on a date. Today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"Why dont you need birth controls when having sex with British boys? They are the earliest to pull out of eu."

"What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas? COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"My band were thinking about doing a concert in space... ...but then we realised there would probably be no atmosphere."

"Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed? Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule."

"Ben Affleck being Batman won't ruin Batman v. Superman. (It'll be Zack Synder's fault.)"

"So a masochist meets a sadist... The masochist yells out ""HIT ME! HIT ME!"" The sadist smiles, looks at him and says ""no."""