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Joke of the Day
"My neighborhood barber just went to jail for dealing drugs... I never knew he was a barber.."
Next Joke
"The cow says ""moo"", the horse says ""neigh""... The dog says ""That person...Edward..."""
"Never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn't hate."
"My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you're not allowed to use them. Because nothing says CLASS like useless towels."
"Hey guy driving the speed limit with your hands at 10 & 2, can I have some of that weed you're transporting?"
"*proposes to girlfriend, accidentally dropping the ring in the ocean* ""I'll still marry you"" No. I'm married to the sea now *dives in*"
"A little Muslim girl tells her husband: ""I want to be a feminist when I grow up."" Husband says: ""You can do one or the other, you can't do both."""
"Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret."
"Crazy lady next to me forgot to take her meds, flipping out and shit. I hate seeing this. Just going to walk away from my mirror now."
"[job interview] How would you improve our business? ""Dude, I'd bankrupt you in a week. I'm just catchin Pokemon in your office."""