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Joke of the Day
"Why does Gandalf prefer coupes? Because other cars have Mordor."
Next Joke
"What do you call a cow masterbating? Beef stroking off"
"How do you tell apart a guitarist and a computer geek? Ask them if they think solid states are shitty."
"There is no more horrible death than the one of a poor tree that ends up being a Twilight book."
"Everyone says to do a job you love. So i bet suicide bombers always have a blast."
"So this morning I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
"My fiance asked me what I thought about having kids. I told her that I love children, I just can't bear them!"
"[after i confess to murder] COP: sarge? you gotta see this [shows interrogation video and sees my fingers crossed the whole time]"
"Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Sequel: Why did the little girl's sister drop her ice cream? Someone threw a fridge at her."
"I got robbed by a magician Took my wallet, watch and every silver dollar I had behind my ear."