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Joke of the Day

"Someone talked to me today about having two X chromosomes. Typical woman."

"Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the scale Buzz Lightyear popped up and said ""TO INFINITY... AND BEYOND!"""

"How do lions like their steaks? RAWR"

"I got so drunk last night I lost my glasses. The rest is a blur"

"Step 1: Buy a 3D printer. Step 2: Print a 3D printer. Step 3: Return the 3D printer."

"Robbing a bank in Greece is like raiding a food warehouse in Uganda. You look stupid and you get nothing out of it."

"My two best friends were born on 4/20... They have a joint birthday party"

"I hate it when people ask me where I see myself in 5 years... Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"I can't stand being in a wheelchair. Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny."

"What do you call a pair of sadomasochists who break up as soon as the going gets tough? Fair leather friends"