77940

Joke of the Day

"The clock was still hungry... so it went back four seconds."

"Having dinner with my phone and some people."

"I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day. The court trial starts tomorrow."

"Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( _) ( _)>- (_) Just take a day off"

"Why did the zombie only eat blonde brains? She was on a diet."

"Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don't have any kids."

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar!"

"Hey guys quick question, can you put a pin back in a grenade? Gonna need a fast answer for this one..."

"Everyday I get at least 3 people who follow me and then immediately delete their accounts. proposed theory: My tweets kill people."

"I heard they finally updated the Encyclopedia of Chronology It's about time."