217992

Joke of the Day

"Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( _) ( _)>- (_) Just take a day off"

"""Weather on the 1s, Traffic on the 3s, We Hate You on the 2s, 4s, 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, 9s, 10s, 11s, and 12s."""

"There's a German butcher around the corner from the hospital... ...just in case someone takes a turn for a wurst."

"Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone"

"Despite my rock and roll lifestyle, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die via punctured gums from a tortilla chip."

"Your mommas so fat When she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody."

"I'm so tired of hearing people complain about being hung over. Just stop your wining."

"Involuntary Owl Knock knock. Who's there? Involuntary owl. Involuntary owl who?"

"Walmart's hair salon doesn't charge extra to cut a live bat out of your hair."

"How many goals did Germany score? A Brazillion."