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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a white woman that identifies as black? TransRachel - credit Jennie"

"I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now."

"Why is it difficult to pan for gold in Somalia? Because pyrites arrrrrr everywhere"

"The closest I've been to murder is holding my choco-chip cookie under the milk until the bubbles stop..."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... ...in two enormous cups."

"I'm starting to think that the gym isn't really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later."

"Hilary clinton married for love Love of power, sure, but it's technically love"

"How's a Volvo just like a woman? The pussy is on the inside."

"I gave up on photography. Couldn't focus."

"I got pulled over today for going 112 mph in a 55 mph zone. The police officer said ""I've been waiting for someone like you all day."" I promptly replied ""Well I got here as fast as I could!"""