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Joke of the Day

"I tried gay phone sex last night, but I'm not sure I'm doing it right. I was the giver and it was the receiver."

"Will you marry me? 'Is a marriage proposal' Will, you, Mary, me? 'A foursome inquiry'"

"What is Trumps favorite movie? Minority Report."

"My hobbies include reading books, eating snacks, and sending emails referencing attachments without the attachments."

"woman on death row Warden: ""What would you like for your last meal?"" Woman: ""I don't know, what do you want?"""

"Me: I bet you die before you figure out how to text me back. *3 years later* Grandma: Fuck you bitch. Say bye to your inheritance"

"I hate when I press 1 for English and still get an Indian person."

"I feel really sad for children with cancer and people who still use BlackBerrys."

"I told my girlfriend two sentences ""We need to buy a new car."" ""I am thinking about taking a break."" She started crying. I mean, she could have just said she didn't like that type of cars."

"I have sensitive teeth..... And I'm afraid I'll say something to hurt their fillings."