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Joke of the Day
"What happens when U change position too fast? You get an unpleasant vowel movement."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand."
"You were a great man, Christopher Columbus ... ... to think you had the foresight of giving me work off 5 centuries later."
"Do you think that a funeral director signs his letters with ' yours eventually'?"
"Me: I like how you dyed all the meat green for St. Patrick's Day. Chipotle manager: It's St. Patrick's Day?"
"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans Free. - [*Darren Walsh*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"
"YSK: Daylight Savings Time ends tonight, make sure to reset all your clocks. Oops, wrong sub"
"I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?"
"How do you know a girl is too young for you? When you have to make airplane noises to get your dick in her mouth"
"What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian? A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs."