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Joke of the Day

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans Free. - [*Darren Walsh*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"

"I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants."

"Spidy nonsense Sometimes I feel like spider man. Once I had Gwen Stacy, now I just have Mary Jane."

"Here's a joke about procrastinating"

"When there's still peanut butter on the knife after a dishwasher run, I just put it in the drawer because that peanut butter is clean."

"I went to the dentist today... He said I wasn't wiping enough and that I have an anal cavity."

"ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is."

"twitter might remove the 140 character limit so i'm putting some 800 word tweets with character development & plot twists in my drafts"

"The US economy That's the joke."

"Want to hear a joke? Tess Holliday."