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Joke of the Day
"I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?"
Next Joke
"[Bar] ""What'll you have"" Scotch ""You want it neat"" No thanks *bartender throws some crumbs and hair in my whisky* Thanks"
"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support or people are going to think we are nuts."
"When asked which is more important looks or brains? 9 out of 10 zombies said ""braaaaiiiiinnnnssss"" number 10 ate the researcher."
"ISIS ""Preventing the theft of unattended baggage since 1989"""
"I'd like to teach you how to win any argument. Unfortunately my wife won't teach me her technique."
"I was researching converting to Mormonism until I found out you have to give them 10% of your income I guess I'm Jewish."
"""Man of Steel"" is about a boy learning how to control his alien body. It is a two and a half hour allegory about puberty."
"not doing the peanut butter and the penis trick with the dog anymore. My son caught me and wants to know why my face is in the dog's crotch"
"What's Whitney Houston's favorite car? Hyuuuuuuundaaaaaiiiieeeiiii"