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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian? A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs."

"Total shocker that you actually have to pay for things when you get to the register. Go ahead and dump your purse on the counter. We'll wait"

"I lost my job at the suicide hotline. Apparently reverse psychology isn't very well accepted."

"What do you call it when you play Nintendo games because you have nothing better to do? Ennwii"

"2 blondes were walking along a beach when one said, ""Look! A dead bird!"" The other looked up."

"TIL that the average mans penis is still larger than the recent study of average global penis size."

"? Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be... ? Wait, hang on...my bad, those are vultures."

"My friend owns a popular graveyard People are dying to get in."

"""Steak and Shake"" great burgers and also a good way to kill baby vampires."

"Me: you can't just be pretty. You have to be smart too! 8: But mom, you're pretty. Me: Awe thank......wait what?"