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Joke of the Day

"Hey I'm in jail on the police station for having an ugly face..... Can you please come over and show them they got the wrong person?"

"*Buys world map* *Pins map to wall* *Promises to visit wherever dart lands* *Throws dart at fridge*"

"Hate when you wake up & think it's the weekend but then realise death is inevitable eternal emptiness"

"Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone."

"A Mexican magician says that he can disappear on the count of three Uno Dos ...POOF He disappeared without a tres"

"Quick question Do clippers games count as sold out if the stadium is three fifths full?"

"My girlfriend hates when I say ""I've got a surprise for you... in my pants."", then I unzip my pants and a squirrel jumps out and bites her."

"Wrestling is so stupid..... .....Men with no pants fighting for a belt"

"LPT: Never tell a sound technician how they are doing. They hate feedback."

"Idea: suicide note Mad Libs (""Sad Libs"")"