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Joke of the Day

"A Mexican magician says that he can disappear on the count of three Uno Dos ...POOF He disappeared without a tres"

"I've yet to find the village where people help you raise your kids"

"If Jack helps you off a horse... Would you help jack off a horse?"

"Oh man, this whole time we've been trying to stop SEAWATER from gushing into our OIL. Stupid Terry was holding the diagram upside down."

"I like my women how I like my haircut... high and tight."

"I started a band called 999 MegaBytes... We haven't got a gig yet..."

"Why did Hitler cross the street? To get to the GENO-SIDE!"

"What did the man in a rush say to his bowel movement? ""I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHIT."""

"All the guys complaining about my thighs touching each other... If you were this close to my vagina you'd be touching yourself too."

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors."