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Joke of the Day

"LPT: Never tell a sound technician how they are doing. They hate feedback."

"Did you hear about the new Voat mobile app? It's called Reddit Was Fun."

"Why did the Raisin take a Prune to the Prom? Because he couldn't find a Date!"

"People say I'm disagreeable They're all wrong"

"""What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?"" ""I'm going to finish my book."" ""I didn't know you were writing a book."" ""I'm not, I'm reading one."""

"I have a friend named Jimmy Glasscock You can see it coming."

"I wore Pirates of the Caribbean pajama pants to the gym and ran backwards on the treadmill because I want a nickname there."

"What do you call a thrash can that cant close A thrash cannot (hahaha.....)"

"I'm probably not the person to ask to talk to kids about the dangers of drugs seeing as my year on ecstasy was the BEST YEAR EVER."

"My buddy said that he was planning on making homemade bread. I told him to let me know if he kneeds anything."