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Joke of the Day

"Just pulled up next to a car identical to mine & accidentally made eye contact with the driver. I think that means we have to race on green."

"What adjective do you use to describe a bad pun? Pungent"

"I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn't care..... Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0"

"Pac Man is my favourite video game about my life. It keeps getting harder and I can't stop eating everything in sight."

"What's the difference between an orange and a baby? You don't fuck an orange after you peel its skin. Credits go to my friend for telling me."

"What are a clumsy person's favorite flowers? Oopsie daisies."

"Why did the mummy cry himself to sleep every night? Because he was empty inside."

"A snake slithers into a bar... The bartender says, ""I'm sorry but I can't serve you."" ""Why not?"" asks the snake. The bartender says, ""Because you can't hold your liquor."""

"I'm writing a movie script about a group of Kenyan refugees who are breaking track records in a suburban American high school... I call it, ""Fast times at Ridgemont High"""

"Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of a stranger making 90% of their decisions."