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Joke of the Day
"My neighbor was a vampire When I stabbed her in the heart with a wooden stake, she died."
Next Joke
"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""
"A redditor walks into a reddit restaurant Sorry, all our servers are busy, please come back in a minute."
"What type of Bees provide millk? Boobees (boobies)"
"[dinner party] mario: what's in this risotto? me: mushroom, you're not allergic? mario: *grows to like 20 feet*"
"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags."
"What do you do, if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise."
"My coworker who believes Jesus Christ was the immaculately conceived son of God who rose from the dead can't believe it's Monday already."
"They say that murder rates go down with more employment, so I bet if we gave everybody jobs murdering people, they'd be really bad at it."
"I know that as parent you're supposed to listen to your kids but most of what they say is such horseshit"