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Joke of the Day

"Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes. Riceless."

"97% of the women who are in ""open relationships"" are also ""completely unaware that they are in an open relationship."""

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? With Nazi's"

"This is yr brain. This is yr brain on drugs. *turns page* This is yr brain on the beach at Cancun! Awwww, yr brain on yr honeymoon. *turns p"

"People with scoliosis are the same as you or I... But with a twist. I'll see myself out."

"What's a Japanese person's hangover cure? Soba Noodles"

"Anyone have a good recipe for ice cubes?"

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive... I'll be a millionaire!"

"I met this gorgeous girl on the subway... and I said to her, ""do you know the different between lunch and a blowjob"" ""no"" Ok, lets go to lunch then."

"Why are dockhands never featured in Miley Cyrus music videos? Because they're port workers."