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Joke of the Day

"Date: what kind of work do you do? Me: I dabble in real estate [Dad yells down the stairs] She visits open houses and eats the free cheese"

"Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried A man comes home to his wife and says ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" She says ""What should I pack?"" He says ""I don't care just pack and get the fuck out!"""

"We put a rover on Mars and made color changin' beer cans. It's about time somebody invents a day to stick between Sunday and Monday. Merica."

"Why was Piglet in the bathroom? He was looking for Pooh."

"Why Did Barbie Never Get Pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box."

"I hate it when I'm digging my own grave at gunpoint and I discover buried treasure."

"What do you call a group of Mexicans smoking weed? Baked beans"

"We have to operate now if the cancer spreads anymore you won't be able to tell the difference between people & food ""Are you nuts?"" Dear God"

"Got asked to help unlock a PDF file today..... I said stop wasting your time, we should be concentrating on locking them up."

"What's Pink and Hard??? A Pig with a Flip Knife."