88178

Joke of the Day

"Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried A man comes home to his wife and says ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" She says ""What should I pack?"" He says ""I don't care just pack and get the fuck out!"""

"9/11 was an inside job ""But the planes were outside!"""

"You can tell Tim Horton's is a Canadian franchise, because my donut just apologized for making me fat."

"What did the vampire say to his girlfriend at school? See you next period!"

"Ladies, don't date him just because his dad has a yacht. Date the dad."

"What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Swim for it..."

"What does it mean when a chameleon cant change color? Reptile - disfunction"

"I really don't have much of an opinion on alcoholic beverages during the holidays... You could say I'm pretty eggnogstic."

"[ Boyfriend walks into the room ] Well, well, well....if it isn't the boy who tried to break up with me in a dream last night."

"My dad taught me you can't try rationalize with crazy... It was a self-taught lesson."