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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a group of Mexicans smoking weed? Baked beans"
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"[watching ""Cinderella""] 5-year-old: Why does she keep cleaning the floors? Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba."
"When does an Irish potato change nationality? When it's french fried."
"Ex (trying to make me jealous): I'm going to a party, everyone's drinking, laughing, and having fun! Me: that'll all stop once you show up"
"Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred."
"Everyone in my class is arguing about science, And I'm just sitting here, maths debating."
"When a drunk girl in her 20s screams, ""Oh my God, I love this song!"", you can be sure that song sucks."
"Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! This is what Santa Clause says when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room."
"Two red blood cells met and fell in love. But alas, it was in vein."
"Eating a cucumber would be the 2nd worst way to discover that you are allergic to cucumbers."