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Joke of the Day

"My most pretentious joke -Knock knock Who's there? -To To who? -To *whom*"

"How to Skrillex sign his Valentine's Day cards? I wub wub wub you...."

"You're in a bar and a guy throws a punch at you You can't even react back or TheFineBros will sue you."

"opinion=ass Opinion is like anal orifice. Everyone has it."

"When I realized my boyfriend said we should 'break up' & not 'break dance', I was sad, but also relieved."

"I saw a woman with 12 breasts Sounds amazing, dozen tit?"

"I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work... ...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive."

"What do you call a Muslim who's always late for everything? 9/12"

"I failed my driver's test. The instructor asked me ""What do you do at a red light? I said ""I usually see what people are up to on twitter."

"I am happy to report this vodka works."