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Joke of the Day

"opinion=ass Opinion is like anal orifice. Everyone has it."

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"How do you know if a wizards gay? It disappears with a poof."
"An F1 racer gets addicted to amphetamines. He soon felt the *need* for *speed*"
"Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?"
"What does the ISIS member say about telling good jokes? ""It's all in the execution."""
"When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years."
"Give me a compliment. A woman looks into the mirror and says to her husband: ""I feel fat, old and ugly, give me a compliment"". The man replies: ""Your eyes are still working great""."
"I entered 10 puns into a contest last week. Do you know how many won? No pun in ten did."
"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes"
"What happens when a muppet gives you a blowjob? A handjob"