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Joke of the Day

"I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work... ...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive."

"Why couldn't the bike stand on it's own? Because it was two tired."

"My current diet all ends with an S. Pizzas. Hamburgers. Tacos. Nachos. Everything that's in sights."

"My grandpa always said... They were so poor, if he wasn't born a boy during the Depression, he would of had nothing to play with."

"""The 1st Amendment is a magical shield that protects you from any consequences after publically posting your opinions online."" - idiots"

"Why did Ray Bradbury use heated lube? It was a pleasure to burn."

"[fakes allergic reaction at dinner] Me: I-I'm- [clutches chest & falls to floor] I'm gonna need you to pay for me"

"I am 20, Male, Dyslexic and love cockporn with lots of butter of course!"

"How long is a Chinaman? How long IS a chinaman"

"Did you hear they're planting in a million trees throughout Harlem? In a city effort to improve public transportation."