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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ? Lily !"
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"[From Basement]: *scary murdery noise* Me: oh shit Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise* [From Basement]: Oh shit"
"What is the medical term for a fat cow? Morbidly o-beef"
"Doing crystal meth lowers your risk of dying from cancer... by raising your risk of dying from crystal meth."
"CNN News ""Tree Falls On Bank"" Does anyone know what branch?"
"Them: Can you describe yourself in five words? Me: Stay at home couch accessory."
"(OC) what did dispatch say to the dog catcher when he asked if he was done for the day? You're golden retriever."
"Too bad Ray Rice didn't kill his wife, The Ravens would've just put a statue of him in front of the stadium."
"Want to hear a joke about Jonestown? Nevermind, the punchline is too long."
"I want Rebecca Black to make a music video for every day of the week! Said by nobody. Ever."