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Joke of the Day

"Doing crystal meth lowers your risk of dying from cancer... by raising your risk of dying from crystal meth."

"My body is 99 degrees And the flu might add a few more (I fuckin suck at jokes)"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my chest"

"Vanilla Ice is selling more records lately Guess his fans are seminemtal"

"A leopard tried to sneak out of his enclosure by pretending to be a zebra. But he was spotted."

"Chuck Norris has a roundhouse-kick app for his iPhone 8.0"

"C3PO and R2D2 walk into a bar... Then the bartender goes ""HEY!!! We don't serve YOUR KIND HERE!!!"" C3PO asks: ""Why because we're droids,"" Bartender: ""NO!!! 'Cause It's AN OUTLET BAR!!!"""

"Why don't lions eat clowns? Because they taste funny"

"what would you call superman if he was deaf and mexican? No hero"

"Queen Elizabeth is planning to visit the set of ""Game of Thrones"" next week. She said things are hard to keep track of because everyone keeps dying. And then Prince Charles said, ""Not everyone."""