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Joke of the Day

"[From Basement]: *scary murdery noise* Me: oh shit Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise* [From Basement]: Oh shit"

"It Only Gets Worse As An Adult, Charlie Brown"

"My exes dying words were, ""you're obviously in one of your moods"""

"I walked into my local fishmongers when i saw the manager of the store slapping his penis with a fish. I **cod** not believe it!"

"Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying ""Tick, tick, tick, tick,...""? ""Ve haff vays of meking you tock."""

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick in you ass."

"TIL that it is difficult to be a good person as there is only so small a distance between an asshole and a pussy."

"I'm more confused than a homeless person on house arrest."

"Always remember that you're someone's reason to smile.. Because you are a joke."

"How'm I going to 80's montage myself out of this one?"